Serial Killer Aficionado Gifts

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

The Elliot Ness monster.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

The Philip Marlow family

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

He loves the water.

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Newton's Law and Order.

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Young Stephen King

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

The Investigation

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

Dollar on the run for devils, zombies and demons.

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

'Make it look like an accident.'

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"