Serene Lounger Gifts

'I am going to do a spot of gardening, have you seen my ear protectors?'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

"I am dressed for the job I want."

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

Lighthouse Hammock.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'How's the water, dear?'

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

Sunday morning provides a time to contemplate the state of our souls. Or soles, as the case may be.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Champagne and Oysters

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Skiing

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

Floating

Rest distracted by moles.

"Sleeping in?"

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

Hockney by the Pool

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

'It's Saturday, and it's my God given right to lie around, star at the clouds, daydream about the new guy in my class. . .'