Relaxed Lounger Gifts

"You need fresh air and exercise."

Rest distracted by moles.

Electronic cigarette smoker.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

'...and talk about lazy!'

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

Sick person curled up at home

"How?"

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

Mexican Dog

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Champagne and Oysters

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."