Laid-back Lounger Gifts

"Not much - just flushing out my arteries."

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked!"

Slow News Day

"Well, one person's mess is another person's immersive experience."

Go over there and say something...

A woman teaches a cat maths as a man eats chips and drinks beer with a dog.

"No, I'm being unemployed from home today."

'Plates? Dude, are you turning metrosexual on me ?'

"Tell me boss, how is the holiday weather in Hawaii?"

'What do you intend doing with your life, Son?' 'Ooh... Let's not tempt fate, Dad.'

Fred loved beer to the point that he didn't even mind having three legs.

'I just started at the bottom and I like it there!'

'Dude... I'll put you on hold while I chill out with a few brewskis!'

'Well played, sir.'

'Can he get back to you - he's couch-surfing at the moment.'

"That's it?! That's your bucket list?"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Sunbathing in the park

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

Sick person curled up at home

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

"How?"

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Gone to seed.

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"