Carefree Lounger Gifts

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

Floating

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

"I am dressed for the job I want."

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

Lighthouse Hammock.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

Sunday morning provides a time to contemplate the state of our souls. Or soles, as the case may be.

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

Sick person curled up at home

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

Mexican Dog

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Counting Booze bruises

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Well played, sir.'

Rest distracted by moles.

'I am going to do a spot of gardening, have you seen my ear protectors?'

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

'My dietitian told me to do something about my weight.....'

"Sleeping in?"

Exercise doesn't increase longevity --- It's well known that things with fewer moving parts last longer!