Senior Parents Gifts

'Ow... I can't remember a day when I didn't ache all over.' 'Tell me about it. I have a shocking memory, too.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Careful."

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

Pensioner's Romance

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."