Retired Parents Gifts

'Take early retirement! It's a great excuse for not helping everyone pay off their damn student loans!'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Careful."

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

Ow! Mutter! Toot! At the Old Superheroes Home. (This cartoon was originally published on 2003-07-28).

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'Not now Kato!'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."