Aged Parents Gifts

"Dad, just use the big one with all the buttons. That's the alpha remote."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

Old and young

"Look what I found, this beautiful Christmas poncho. Isn't it festive?!"

Mom & Pop Grocerette

"I wonder if she knows my collar's around my a**..."