Aging Parent Gifts

"You should wear your glasses, Sven."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Careful."

Toothless Meal

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Old and young

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

"I wonder if she knows my collar's around my a**..."

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."