Older Parents Gifts

"Armand, which summer did we become chair people?"

"Father is still old-school when it comes to homeland security."

"How can we be over the hill - we can't even get up it."

'Wish kids would just bin their bubble gum!' (PAVEMENT COVERED IN BUBBLES)

"If you want something done right, you have to live in the past."

"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."

"It's going to make a crash landing in our garden - that'll make people talk!"

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

'Can I get you something while I'm down here?'

Half-Priced Children.

"Stop reminiscing!"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."