Older Parent Gifts

Chasing Pensions

'I have found $80,000 under the cushions.'

Air bag on a Zimmer frame.

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

When bank robbers grow old...

Zimmer frame with satellite navigation system.

'Still the rhythm method; I simply adjust the speed of his pacemaker.'

'Council on the aging ... out for Geritol break.'

'I wish i had shares in Gabardine.'

Dance steps for the very tired.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Speed Dating.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Toothless Meal

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Old and young