Senior Parents Pillows

'Ow... I can't remember a day when I didn't ache all over.' 'Tell me about it. I have a shocking memory, too.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

Pensioner's Romance

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."