Elder Parent Pillows

Getting older is repeating the same stories over and over.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Careful."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

Toothless Meal

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

Dino Snack

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

Remembering His Marbles

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."