Senior Parent Pillows

Place Settings for the Elderly

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Snacks for Learners

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

Pensioner's Romance

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."