Retired Parent Pillows

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

'I'm retired and decided to have a fresh start.'

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Toothless Meal

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"I wonder if she knows my collar's around my a**..."

Old and young

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

Mom & Pop Grocerette