Seminar Skeptics Gifts

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

"For cryin' out loud, are you signing up or not?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'I've been to better motivational seminars.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

Tonight's topic Ethical behavior. Personally, I let my conscience by my guide, but I do the driving!

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

"Maybe there's a free lunch, too?"

'All right, all right, Hershman, you can go attend the 'improve your negotiating skills' seminar.'

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

Motivational Business Course: Charm, Repetition, Acronyms, Pie Charts.

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

The Self Esteem Seminar had really helped him.

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."