Meeting Skeptic Gifts

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Open House of Horrors

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"Bill and I hate the same books."

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

"For cryin' out loud, are you signing up or not?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"I didn't live through a global pandemic just so I could group hug again!"

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"You snored through the whole motivational seminar."

I'm away from my desk. Any message you leave won't be of any importance to me.

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

'I hate singles bars. It's like window shopping...you know, looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Myself, I'm not a morning person, so I'm definitely not interested in one of those up-at-the-crack-of-dawn types, you know what I mean?'

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'