Socializing Skeptic Gifts

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

The Mainstream

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

A man without a chicken on his head!

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'Really! - you have an aim in life - how quaint!'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

Conformity

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"Please excuse, Tom, Mom and Dad! He's worked the last ten years in a large city hospital and has no practice with chit chat!"

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

"We really must be going. Phillip has an uncanny sense of when to leave a party."

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."

Your dire prediction in this space. 1-555-826-1000