Socialization Skeptic Gifts

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."

'I bet he's home schooled.'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

The Mainstream

All-Purpose Obamatoon

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

Progress?

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

A man without a chicken on his head!

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"You’ll have to excuse my husband — he’s a rescue."

Social media and privacy

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

'Really! - you have an aim in life - how quaint!'

Addicted to Oil

Conformity

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

Psychiatry. I'm starting to take it personally when people say we have a representative government.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

'So I looked at your Facebook page...oh man...there's no way you're getting this job!'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

"Please excuse, Tom, Mom and Dad! He's worked the last ten years in a large city hospital and has no practice with chit chat!"

Actually, College Tuition Does Pay

I'm not challenging your authority. I'm rejecting it completely."

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

"I have a bad association with people."

Your dire prediction in this space. 1-555-826-1000

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'

"We really must be going. Phillip has an uncanny sense of when to leave a party."

'Are you eligible to join 'Miser' the high accrue society?'

IQ Test: If it's on Facebook it must be true

"We're trying to come up with a less offensive term for 'political correctness.'"

Woman throws a book titled 'How To Get Along With Others' at a passer-by.