Sociability Skeptic Gifts

"I lost all my Facebook friends after I asked them to lend me some money."

"I liked it better before when we didn't know enough about the Deavers to dislike them."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

The Mainstream

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

All-Purpose Obamatoon

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

#notblessed

Facelook

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

A man without a chicken on his head!

Fake News

You can have your privacy back, as soon as I've finished showing it to everyone