Sociability Skeptic Pillows

"I lost all my Facebook friends after I asked them to lend me some money."

"I liked it better before when we didn't know enough about the Deavers to dislike them."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

The Mainstream

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

#notblessed

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

A man without a chicken on his head!

Social media and privacy

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."