Societal Skeptic Pillows

All-Purpose Obamatoon

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"Taking drugs makes you an idiot and they're illegal and expensive. I'm religious! Religion makes you an idiot, too, but it's cheap and legal!"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Politicians are from Uranus.

The Mainstream

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"I totally meant to do that."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

A man without a chicken on his head!