Satirical Society Skeptic Pillows

"Pecking order's not what it used to be."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Strainspotting

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

The Mainstream

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"Your personality test shows you are selfish, mean, and lazy. We'd like to offer you a position in management."

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

Monkey Business College

A man without a chicken on his head!

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Pizzas

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Lobster a la Riseholme!

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

Atilla the Hun, sadly neglected by historians for his progressive approach to personnel management.

"Our interview with the author of the best-selling book, 'how I never paid taxes', has been postponed 5 to 10 years."

"I thanked my teacher for teaching us so well and she fainted."