Social Skills Skeptic Pillows

Woman throws a book titled 'How To Get Along With Others' at a passer-by.

'I won't be sociable, I won't be ....'

"Please excuse, Tom, Mom and Dad! He's worked the last ten years in a large city hospital and has no practice with chit chat!"

"So, what do you do for play?"

The Mainstream

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

All-Purpose Obamatoon

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

A man without a chicken on his head!

"Come on Hugh, you know you have to wallow in the mud hole before sitting down at the table."

Ouija Bored

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"This one? This one? Listen, make up your mind, or I;m picking out a flea for you."

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

Yossi's mother couldn't understand why he was struggling socially.

"I just don't know if I have the energy to meet new people."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Really! - you have an aim in life - how quaint!'

I knew a guy who was born with a sidelong glance. . .

"Are you talking to me?"

Conformity

'I'd like to discuss your child's inability to interact with other children around him.'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

Psychiatry. I'm starting to take it personally when people say we have a representative government.

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

"It's context aware, so it can tap your wrist when you're about to put your foot in your mouth."