Dating Skeptic Gifts

'Myself, I'm not a morning person, so I'm definitely not interested in one of those up-at-the-crack-of-dawn types, you know what I mean?'

"Bill and I hate the same books."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'

"Here's your prescription, Dave. And I take it you'll be cancelling your date with my daughter?!"

"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

"I don't think this date is going well."

"Oi! Come back here! This ain't what a lady expects on a first date!"

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"I'm not sure, Susie, I think he looks a bit creepy."

'Nice guys finish last - is that your philosophy of life or sex?'

What are we... chopped liver!? Dating service.

'I hate singles bars. It's like window shopping...you know, looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.'

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places.

Sandra had found ways to cope with rejection.

'If you're not ashamed of your boyfriend why haven't I met him yet?'

'No! I've learned my lesson. No more blind dates for me.' 'But Jenny's different. She doesn't even have a nice personality.'

"Well, I had a lovely evening, but now I've got to hurry up ahead and try to lose you on a side street."

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

You know, Charlene, I never believe it when a woman says she can't go out with me because she's staying in to wash her hair, but your story has the ring of truth. Have fun washing your beret tonight.

Just because you'll never have a boyfriend doesn't mean you get to bring everyone else down. Who cares about dating? Brnng. I'll get it. It's your prince. Hi? It's, um, Amy? Is, um, Teddy, like, there? Sure. I'll give you to him!

Since you're a lawyer, I have a legal question. Strictly hypothetical, of course. Are restraining orders transferable? !

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."