Training Skeptics Gifts

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"We'll up your medication and with any luck your delusions should significantly reduce!"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Live, laugh, love

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"For cryin' out loud, are you signing up or not?"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Stop fact checking my story."

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"You snored through the whole motivational seminar."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

Quiz Today. I don't remember clicking of any terms of agreement that cover this!

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

Fish "I hate going back to school"