Scripture Enthusiasts Gifts

'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'

"Meet the scribe"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Ten Commandments

Noah's ark, many lions

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

The First Printed Bible

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

Meet the Author

"Does the ark have wifi?"

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'