Scripture Aficionado Gifts

An early case of identity theft

"I can't believe the platypuses gave us $100 for our spot on the ark."

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the scribe"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

John Bunyan

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

My Literary Influences

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'