Scripture Aficionado T-Shirts

An early case of identity theft

"I can't believe the platypuses gave us $100 for our spot on the ark."

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the scribe"

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

John Bunyan

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Stephen Spender.

Gunter Grass

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Noel Coward.

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

My Literary Influences

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.