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John Bunyan

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Meet the Author

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Holy Bible

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

Horseshoes...Samson-style

IMHOtep

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Jesus wept

"The last doggy bag."

"He changed water into wine!"

Pastoring for Dummies

Noah's Nark.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."