Old Testament Aficionado Gifts

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'I assume we'll be on the honor system, right?'

Noah's Nark.

"Now, how about some affirmations to balance all this negativity?"

Jacob's first attempt at deceiving Isaac.

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

'Sorry I'm late. . . Did he say anything about SAME-SEX MARRIAGE?'

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

Horseshoes...Samson-style

"What would become of your family, Mr. Goliath, if, for instance, some little kid killed you with a slingshot?"

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Next 40 Years

Moses on a park bench

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

''Immortality'? - We should live so long!'

Moses does a Life jacket demo

'No offense, but everybody thinks the manna tastes like potato salad.'

'Okay, but these are really going to stress everybody out.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'He's sending us to a culturally diverse place called 'Palestine.''

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank.

'You checked both male and female on your entry form. What are you, fella...some sort of comedian?'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

"Moses tries and fails once again to mow his lawn."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

John Bunyan

'Yes, all at once!'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'