Old Testament Fan Gifts

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Lot and his wife adopt a dog...

Noah was renound for his bad memory (Dinosaur Extinction)

Jael Buys a tent stake.

A car stops at a road sign that reads "Children of Israel Crossing" as Moses leads the Israelites across the road.

Jericho revisited.

STOP - Children of Israel crossing

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

'Is there a backup plan?'

Noah directs animals aboard the ark featuring first class and tourist sections.

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"Are we there yet?

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

Sistine Selfie

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Oedipus

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'