Old Testament Buff Gifts

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

'We'd better hurry up with that Eve project - Adam's getting solipsistic.'

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

Moses parting the watermelon

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Are we there yet?'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

'Look man, no wings!'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'Even More Disciples'