Old Testament Buff Gifts

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

'We'd better hurry up with that Eve project - Adam's getting solipsistic.'

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

'Are we there yet?'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'Look man, no wings!'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Even More Disciples'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'King Solomon had seven hundred wives, Ed, and you just have the one. Surely you can work out your differences.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'