Old Testament Enthusiast Gifts

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Everybody's out of compliance except the Israelites, and I'm beginning to worry about THEM.'

After exiting the cave David was hiding in, King Saul felt a sudden draft.

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"No way they can deal with all of these at once!"

"Oh! Well, Enoch isn't the chosen one. Maybe it's you Moses?"

'How would you like to be on my new show: 'Smart Women, Smart Choices'?'

King Solomon

"It's very faint, but it seems to say, "help, my name is Jonah, help!": what did you swallow exactly?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

Army Defense Planning...Eye for an eye...Tooth for a tooth.

'What did Cane say to his brother?'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

Let the game begin.

'Who died and made YOU Pharaoh?'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Noah's ark, many lions

Christian and Born again Christian...

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'