Old Testament Fans Gifts

"Sorry Moses, but this is the wilderness. The promised land is 40 years the other direction."

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

Horseshoes...Samson-style

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Joseph and his coat

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."