Old Testament Follower Gifts

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Joseph and his coat

Horseshoes...Samson-style

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

Noah's Nark.

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'