Old Testament Reader Gifts

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'And we're supposed to be the nation that camped in the desert for 40 years.'

"We're running out of food, better check the kangaroos for stowaways"

'It's Moses again - now he's lost his traveler's checks.'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I have an app for that."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

Horseshoes...Samson-style

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Noah posted his first tweet.

Joseph and his coat

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."