Old Testament Enthusiasts Gifts

Benaiah questions the mighty men on who pushed him in the pit.

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

The First Printed Bible

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

Noah's ark, many lions

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Meet the Author

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.