Old Testament Fanatic Gifts

"Well, you weren't my first choice either!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Horseshoes...Samson-style

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Joseph and his coat

Saint Patrick

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

William Shakespeare

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"Just thought I'd let you know that the stars are in the exact same configuration as when Mary Shelley wrote 'Frankenstein'."

Noah's Nark.

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"Are we there yet?

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'