Old Testament Admirers Gifts

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

Joseph and his coat

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Horseshoes...Samson-style

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

Noah's Nark.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'This is a painting of your grandfather.'