Script Aficionado Gifts

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'A page from Sylvester Stallone's newest film script.'

'Brilliant... 'Slumlord Billionaire'!'

"Great money scenes!"

Good Cop/Hollywood Cop: "Confess or my partner will make you read his screenplay."

"Jake, I know how much you hate screenwriters but you're going to like this script - it was AI generated."

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"The story is stupid, the characters are unreliable and the senseless special effects will eat up millions. Well, I guess we've got a real blockbuster!"

Hollywood producer.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

A pretention of playwrights

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

Hollywood producer.

Dip Pen

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

'6 One-Act Plays By 6 World Leaders'

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Scrip Doctor

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid