Script Enthusiasts Gifts

Uh� I'm sorry� What's my line�? "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." I think I'm over-rehearsed.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

A pretention of playwrights

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Hollywood producer.

I'll be honest, Jerry - When you invited me to join your book club, this is not what I expected.

Hollywood producer.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Actor practising his indian war crys

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Eugene Ionesco

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Great money scenes!"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Dear Diary

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Scrip Doctor

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Woody Allen

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

Subtitles for the Stupid

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Directors Chair and Others.

Writer's Strike

Write a Screenplay

Audition. Script. He plays every role with that scowl --- His motto is "Anything you can do, I can do bitter."

Globe. Which line do you prefer? "What's past is prologue" or "today is the first day of the rest of your life"?