Script Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

A pretention of playwrights

Hollywood producer.

Hollywood producer.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"Great money scenes!"

Eugene Ionesco

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Dear Diary

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Scrip Doctor

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Directors Chair and Others.

Write a Screenplay

Writer's Strike

"Oh, pardon me. That's not the menu , that's my screenplay."

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'