Old-school Script Lover Gifts

"He's a little slow, but a lot more reliable than the copier."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

A pretention of playwrights

Hollywood producer.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Actor practising his indian war crys

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hollywood producer.

"Great money scenes!"

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

Eugene Ionesco

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Woody Allen

Dear Diary

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Scrip Doctor

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Write a Screenplay

Writer's Strike

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'

Globe. Which line do you prefer? "What's past is prologue" or "today is the first day of the rest of your life"?

Audition. Script. He plays every role with that scowl --- His motto is "Anything you can do, I can do bitter."