Sacred Scripture Lover Gifts

'No, I don't think they could use a rewrite!'

"Meet the scribe"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

John Bunyan

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"That's our new church mascot."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Holy Bible

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

Jesus wept

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

"My Name is I AM, and I approve of this message."

'Do you have any coupons?'