Schoolyard Snacker Gifts

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Recess does things to a man."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

The Charge of the Kids

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

Shadow

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

And there goes the school window...

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'The exams were under water, below c!'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

'She's a gifted child.'

A cow has a picnic with a rug with a hole in it, so he can eat the grass underneath.

I'll have today's special please.

'Rising expenses will force me to beat an extra 15c out of you.'

"Check the lost and found. She said our behavior was making her loose her mind. We think she went to find it."

'What do you mean lining up in order of height is discrimination?'

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

"Boeing! - in my office, now!"

"Looking at these results, nobody could possibly accuse you of taking performance 'Enhancing' drugs!"

Schoolboy.

'Let's sit still as little mice while James tells us about his alcohol problem.'