Schoolyard Snackers Gifts

"Recess does things to a man."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

The Charge of the Kids

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

"It was a professional hit..."

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

Shadow

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

The individual cheese slice. Oddly, not the first choice for the truly individual.

'Pillow fight!'

Fat Kid.

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

'The exams were under water, below c!'

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

'She's a gifted child.'

A cow has a picnic with a rug with a hole in it, so he can eat the grass underneath.

Carcass in a cup (street vendor cart)

I'll have today's special please.

'Don't worry- mine is the good E. Coli.'

'-and may I have a prawn cocktail - with a cherry in it?'

'Rising expenses will force me to beat an extra 15c out of you.'

"It's a nutritious synthetic protein that will be a sensation if we can sell it as a worthless snack."

"Check the lost and found. She said our behavior was making her loose her mind. We think she went to find it."

'What do you mean lining up in order of height is discrimination?'

"Boeing! - in my office, now!"