Schoolyard Snackers Gifts

'My Mom packed a doggie bag from her dinner out last night. I'll trade you my north atlantic lemon sole en papillote for your Twinkie.'

"Recess does things to a man."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

The Charge of the Kids

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

Shadow

"It was a professional hit..."

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

The individual cheese slice. Oddly, not the first choice for the truly individual.

'Pillow fight!'

Fat Kid.

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"

'The exams were under water, below c!'

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'She's a gifted child.'

A cow has a picnic with a rug with a hole in it, so he can eat the grass underneath.

I'll have today's special please.

Carcass in a cup (street vendor cart)

'Don't worry- mine is the good E. Coli.'

'-and may I have a prawn cocktail - with a cherry in it?'

"It's a nutritious synthetic protein that will be a sensation if we can sell it as a worthless snack."

"Check the lost and found. She said our behavior was making her loose her mind. We think she went to find it."

'Rising expenses will force me to beat an extra 15c out of you.'

'What do you mean lining up in order of height is discrimination?'