Schoolyard Fun Seeker Gifts

'She's a gifted child.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"Recess does things to a man."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

The Charge of the Kids

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

'...No, you're not going to be chillin' at a crucially cool awesome rave. It's Daniel's birthday party.'

"It was a professional hit..."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Shadow

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

Inattentive Boy

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

'I got lost in between all the classroom trailers at school again.'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

'Pillow fight!'

"I'm lactose-intolerant, so can I say 'beans' instead?"

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

'The exams were under water, below c!'

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

'He's my lawyer.'

"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

'I want you to listen to me... I'm gonna say it just one time... I... did... not pull that Patty Willston's hair... it never happened!'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'I've got me a terrible headache!'

"You wouldn't understand,...it's a poultry thing."

"Boeing! - in my office, now!"

Schoolboy.