Schoolyard Memories Seeker Gifts

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"Is it okay if I dissect this ham sandwich?"

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

'I got lost in between all the classroom trailers at school again.'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

"Yeah, I get the same thing. Walked four miles to school in the snow....I guess there weren't any cars of busses when our parents were our age!"

At the Class of 1980 shape reunion - 'OMG, look at the old square Doris ended up with!'

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

Remember last Friday when that substitute teacher showed us movies all day...THOSE were the good old days!

'I didn't want to peak too soon.'

"This will help you make unbiased decisions, AND stay cootie-free."

Class Reunion. Remember when we all used to be the same age?

'Of course I remember you. Potkins the Peter Pan of the Lower Fourth.'

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!'

'Ah! Flavoured dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxydropesane and asparteme, it really takes me back to my schooldays.'