Scholarly Snacker Gifts

'Cambridge dons of electrical engineering find a way to do toast without going to the buttery.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Jewish Geometry

"The bagels are better in New York."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

Breakfast surreal.

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Well, O.K., so you found fast food, but what's the hurry?

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"We grind our own catnip."

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

The four major food groups.

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

The Fast-Science Strip

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

Supermarket Aisles.

"Not eating your Cheezies, Miller?"

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."